In Pursuit of A Life Well-Lived

I was in Siargao Island when I received a job opportunity to work with an international research agency. The opportunity appealed to me because it is online-based and is with a prestigious company, so I updated my CV and submitted it. I was in Cebu City when I received a response from the agency and an invitation to take an assessment exam. I took the hour-long written exam, hated it, felt like I did badly, and threw away the idea of working with the company. I was in Panglao Island when I received an email invitation for a Skype interview with the project commissioner. It was totally unexpected and definitely flattering so I talked with them for a couple of hours and then they confirmed that they are contracting me.

Upon that confirmation, I felt unsure of whether I really wanted the job or not, knowing how demanding and challenging and stressful it will be. It felt like being pulled back to the life I just left but at the same time, I thought it can also be the opportunity I need to achieve a semi-nomadic life. It was definitely possible. It is going to be difficult, but yes, it is possible.

From Panglao, I decided to go to Dumaguete City. I have been to the student town  before and I know it can serve my office needs. I booked an apartment for two weeks, after which I need to decide whether to stay, transfer to a different city/island, or fly back to Manila. Going back to Manila would be the most practical and most comfortable. Moving to a different city or town would be the most complicated and risky. Staying in Dumaguete would be neither practical nor comfortable and would also be complicated and risky. I decided to stay.

On weekdays, I worked on my laptop. On weekends, I hunted for an apartment. On lunch breaks and early afternoons, I explored the city. It was a difficult and exhausting juggle between work, life, and play. Several times, I seriously considered quitting and disappearing. The company had no idea where I am and had no means to hunt me down, with only my professional reputation at risk. But that's just going to add to the things I am running away from. So with a lot of push and some support, I kept going and managed to hold my sanity (although I already am insane for attempting such).

Moving out of my AirBnB room, I found an apartment with kitchen and broadband internet by contacting every "room for rent" sign I see. Before that, I had no idea how people find places to live in. As a means of getting around, I rented a scooter which I eventually upgraded to a motorbike. I drove out every day, even with no reason, and reached as far out as 30km on my own. On most days, I cooked and prepared my meals, and learned to feed myself and others with honestly delicious meals. Previously, I can only make "sad food" which is edible enough just for myself. But most of the time, I was hunched up on my chair, making calls to Manila-based companies, scouring the internet for information and statistics, and burning nights to finish reports and deliverables.

After 7 weeks in Dumaguete City (and more than a month in various places), I finally went back to Manila. I carried with me not just a new opportunity of achieving the life I want to live but a real attempt at it. I am still in the middle of the attempt, and of the opportunity, but maybe I can make it. Maybe, in the end, I will be living the life I want to live.

Like a sturdy boat in the middle of the sea, I'll keep floating amidst the waves until I find my anchor.

Almost a bum

3 months ago, I resigned from my regular corporate job in order to pursue a life of travel and freelancing. Although I have yet to learn whether it was the best, or the worst, decision I have ever made for myself -- I haven't gone bankrupt yet but I haven't travelled far and long enough either -- I am at my most liberated and confident self.

So how is it?

Flexible days

Well, for one, I no longer have a regular schedule to adhere to. I go about my day at my whim or plan one day ahead at the most. Contrary to before when I already know what I'll be doing and where I'll be going weeks in advance, I now only have tasks maybe I should I finish within the week and places I can be at the following week. I don't have a standard waking and sleeping time and I sometimes don't even use my alarm clock anymore (or if I did, I would let it snooze for an hour or two).

To cite an example, yesterday, I was up at 9:00 am to get breakfast and to prepare for my 9:30 am Skype meeting. An hour and a half later, I was debating whether to shower or to squeeze in some work before the 11:30 am check out then decided that personal hygiene is more important. At past 1:00 pm, I was enjoying the passing vehicles and houses on the bus to Moalboal in Cebu. And then at 4:30 pm, I was staring and savoring the setting sun amidst the silhouette of mountains and the glitter of the sea. Finally, at 9:30 pm, after dinner and another shower, I was drinking my coffee and deliberating on my WIP powerpoint.

A week ago, on the same day, it was a different schedule altogether. I was awake only at 10:00 am and took an hour to settle down for work. And then I sat in front of my laptop until 10:00 pm, taking frequent pee and water breaks, as well as FB breaks, when I decided I wanted to get beer from Shakey's.

And then for tomorrow, I'm not sure what time I should be up but I know that breakfast is only until 10:00 am and that checkout is at 12:00 nn before which I want to walk 15 minutes to enjoy that small cluster of white sand up north.

Each day is different and I need to frequently make quick calls and to maintain foresight to make sure I remain productive and avoid unnecessary obstacles. Although I like the flexibility and freedom, it gets tiring at times.

Unstable income

Another, I'll never know how much I'll be earning week after week. Sure, I have a target in mind but my earnings is usually directly proportional to my working hours. That is, the more hours I work, the bigger my income will be. The tricky part here is that I can't afford to miss more than two days of work within the week which means that I should still follow the 5-day work week schedule no matter where I am. And I basically need to allocate at least two hours of work each day in order to be sustainable. If not, then my lifestyle is operating at a big loss.

Thinking of whether I have worked long enough for the week to support next week's possibilities tend to be toxic. But I really try not to think about it while watching the sunset or while sitting in a bus.

*****

Having lots of free time, being able to work from anywhere, and working only when you please may sound like THE dream. However, this requires a whole lot of self-discipline and self-motivation. There'll be no bosses to keep watch on you, no hard deadlines to run after, and no regulations to guide you. Every move and every result is dependent on you and it is really very easy to end up doing nothing at all than accomplishing just one thing.

Most people would think I'm so lucky (and rich) because I'm just bouncing around from one place to another and being on vacation. But the truth is, I'm always working and contemplating problems, if not on my laptop then in my head.

View from my "office" at some days