This is something that I heard from a mid-20-year-old guy when I was an early-20-year-old. At that time, I didn't really understand what he meant. But recently, his words have been coming back to me and have been making more and more sense.
I started this blog in 2015, marking the 2nd year that I decided to set goals and strive towards them. Since then, I have been finding myself in surreal situations that kept reminding me of how fortunate I am. I have been to the best beaches and islands in the Philippines and to some in Malaysia, Indonesia and Thailand. I have been to 30m below sea level and to several hundred meters above on foot. I have met world-class athletes and world-changing individuals who are also the nicest and least entitled people I know.
However, the farther I travel, the more experiences I pursue, and the more people I encounter, the stranger and lonelier I truly feel. It seems that every step I take along this chosen path is another step away from what used to be familiar, normal and comfortable.
Although I really do live for chasing after new experiences and new destinations, I am finding it more and more difficult to relate with other people. Back in school, everyone is aiming for timely graduation, taking the same exams and programs, and have lived the same number of years. Inside the office, most everyone hates the same boss, complains about the same working conditions, and renders too much overtime at some point.
But now with my nomadic freediver lifestyle, I very rarely meet someone who is the same age as I am or is in the same stage of life. Whilst I want to travel like a local and spend my days at the local coffee shop, others have too much energy and too little time to be satisfied with that. Whilst freediving is the only sport I ever did, others have some physical background to draw resilience and techniques from. There's an infinitely diverse range of goals, intentions, struggles and advantages, in addition to nationalities, ages and civil status, that finding a karamay* is a real diamond.
Hence, there are many times when I feel lost and down, look at everyone surrounding me, and see no one seemingly going through something similar.
But this is not to say that I haven't made real personal connections throughout my gallivanting. Even with my introvertedness and fear of being rejected, misunderstood or found out, I've met a few people whom I consider friends and can hang out with.
This is my new reality now. And though I really am thankful for it, I do wish to find people who are also going through similar roadblocks at the same time.
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| Taken by Summer at Dumaluan Beach, Panglao, Bohol. Summer was my overall Panglao buddy whom I only found because I impulsively decided to invest in a freediving course. If my stinginess prevailed, my stay in Panglao wouldn't have been as special. |
*Karamay - n. roughly translates to "accomplice" or "companion", karamay is a Tagalog word that refers to someone who can sympathize with someone else, often experiencing the same struggles at the same time. I think the English translation does not give justice to the depth of meaning of the word.
